Saturday, January 29, 2011

The Pan-Arab Revolt

Okay, so the latest Arab uprising in Egypt has no terrorist elements to it, right? This story reeks of CNN Über-Spin, characterizing the events in Egypt and other Arab nations as a revolt fueled by the intelligentsia, not hysterical Jihadists. Maybe my TV set is tuned to a different universe, as I see nothing but screeching rioters from the area of the world that author P.J. O’Rourke accurately identified as “God’s Monkey House”.

Notably absent in this "intellectual" revolt are the intellectuals from Syria, Lybia and Saudi Arabia, genuinely despotic regimes. Mubarak, at worst is "despot lite", otherwise the protestors would be getting the Tiananmen Square treatment, and there would be several hundred dead already instead of a handful.

With Hillary overtly, and President Obama tacitly throwing an admittedly flawed ally under the bus, this can only end one way, with another middle east country falling into the Iranian model.

Remember that the Iranian revolution was sparked by the country’s intellectual elite and college students, but ended with the rise of the Assaholas, and the establishment of the world’s first viable terrorist state. Thanks a lot President Carter, you peanut munching varmint.

We must act this time. Here are a few easily implemented precautions that may help avoid another foreign policy disaster :

#1. Declare the Suez Canal and the Sinai Peninsula vital international utilities. President Obama: screw the Afghans, send in the Marines. If you can’t send in our Marines, let Israel re-occupy the area. If our panty-waist NATO allies grow a set and want to help, let them. Under no circumstances should this mission include United Nations Peace Keepers as these clowns are as about as useful as tits on a tomcat.

#2. Make a public statement that Iran, Syria and Pakistan have been designated as primary nuclear targets in the event of an attack on Israel, regardless of deniability.

#3. Develop a policy for the disarmament of all middle eastern Muslim countries down to the police department level. This means no tanks, air forces, missiles, nukes, chemical weapons or biological weapons will be tolerated. If it were possible, we should reduce them to pointy sticks, rocks and harsh language, but taking their armament down to the level of a rural police department will do for now.

#4. Make war profiteering (despite what the MSNBC bedwetters say, we are at war) a prosecutable crime with hard time attached to a conviction ( say hello to your new room mate, Rectal Ronnie). This includes price manipulation of consumable commodities including oil and food.

Somebody has to be the adult here.

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