Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time I thought that I would make a good elected official, so I ran for office. I attended a couple of candidates' forums/debates to make my case . If you have read any of my previous entries to this blog, you can imagine the general tenor of my message. One of my appearances resulted in the following scene ( This is mostly gospel true).

Cojonius: “Blah, blah, blah, “Varmints!”

A woman in the audience turned to another and commented:
“ Did you hear what that horrible man said?”

The other woman responded:
“Lady, I married that horrible man.”

I did not win the election by the way.

Monday, October 17, 2011

The Brave New Republic

The Brave New Republic
Oct 17, 2011

Obama Pisses on Your Leg, Insists that it is Raining

Washington, D.C.

Shortly after his address to the nation yesterday, President Barack Hussein Obama whipped out his schnozzle and pissed down the collective leg of America. Accompanying the stream of urine were assertions from Obama, Vice-President Biden and White House Press Secretary Jay Carney that it was, in fact, raining.

The White House position was further supported ex-Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi who was quoted as saying:

“In spite of its tepid temperature and piquant aftertaste I find
this rain water to be very refreshing”.

Later, after making his statement, President Obama cut a prodigious fart.

“Roses!” , declared Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.